God made people to have happy, successful relationships with him and with each other, but sometimes we make wrong choices that throw these relationships out of balance. The first earthly relationship was between Adam, Eve, and God, but that was ruined when they were tempted and chose to disobey God. Yet God favored them and future generations so much that he sent his Son to restore what was damaged. When we accept the favor he wants to bestow on all our relationships, each of them will flourish.
He knows how important positive relationships are to our spiritual health, but so does the enemy. If we’re not careful, we can unwittingly fall into unhealthy or even dangerous relationships that can separate us from God. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, 15, NKJV). This not only applies to marriage relationships, but friendships as well. We can’t avoid coming into contact with unbelievers, but letting them influence our thinking can be a major stumbling block for us.
We can guard against that danger by staying solidly grounded in God’s word. The more we meditate on it, the more we realize how important it is to let grace guide our interactions with others. Grace teaches us wisdom and discernment, and cautions us against unwise choices. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20). It’s easier to avoid associating with negative people when we realize how much God loves us, and we learn to see ourselves as he sees us.
When we use the spiritual gifts of wisdom and discernment to guide us in forging godly friendships, we can hear God’s directions clearly. What is hidden to others is revealed to us through the Holy Spirit. Listening to him keeps us safe on every level, and shapes our personality to remove any rough edges. “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).
Most of us have a blind spot when it comes to assessing our own personalities. It’s hard to see ourselves from others’ perspective, but the Holy Spirit can lovingly point out the areas on which we need to work. With God himself living in us, our imperfections eventually disappear and we become increasingly like Christ. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16).
Relying on his wisdom provides us with insight others don’t have, and letting his discernment guide our interactions with others gives us a supernatural advantage. Measuring our relationships according to the word of God reveals things invisible on the natural level. “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14). Seeking God’s direction in this area releases grace in each relationship we establish.